Healthy vs. Unhealthy Coping

Grief will guide you toward certain habits — some healing, some protective, and some that unintentionally prolong suffering. Understanding the difference helps you choose what truly supports you.

Healthy Coping Skills

(These help you process, express your emotions, and move through grief with support and love.)

Talking About Your Dog and Your Feelings

Sharing memories with supportive people, joining a pet-loss support group, or confiding in someone who “gets it.”

Examples:

  • Telling a friend the story of how your dog came into your life.
  • Saying out loud, “I miss them so much today”.
  • Reaching out when a grief wave hits.

Journaling or Writing

Putting your emotions on paper helps release the pressure inside your heart.

Examples:

  • Writing your dog a letter
  • Keeping a “memory journal”
  • Listing the things you are grateful they taught you.

Creative Expression

Grief often needs an outlet beyond words.

Examples:

  • Creating a scrapbook
  • Drawing your dog
  • Crafting a memorial space
  • Making art using their pawprint

Healthy Routine & Gentle Movement

You don’t need intense exercise — just small moments of caring for your body.

Examples:

  • Mindful walks
  • Stretching or light yoga
  • Getting fresh air for five minutes
  • Drinking enough water

Remembrance Rituals

Honoring your dog keeps their memory close and supports emotional release.

Examples:

  • Lighting a candle
  • Keeping a special photo space
  • Planting flowers or a tree
  • Celebrating their birthday

Mindfulness and Grounding

Calming your nervous system helps you move through waves of grief.

Examples:

  • Deep breathing
  • 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise
  • Guided meditations
  • Hand over heart, saying “I’m safe, I’m grieving, I’m healing.”

Seeking Professional Support

Therapists, counselors, and grief groups are there to walk with you — not to “fix” you.

Unhealthy Coping

(These are understandable reactions, but over time they can block healing or increase emotional pain.)

Completely Isolating Yourself

Pulling away from everyone because you don’t want to burden them or you think no one will understand.

Why it hurts:
Isolation often deepens sadness and makes guilt or regret louder.

Numbing the Pain

Using alcohol, overeating, undereating, drugs, or anything else to avoid feeling emotion.

Why it hurts:
Numbing postpones healing — the grief doesn’t go away, it just waits.

Overworking or Staying Too Busy

Filling every moment so you don’t have to think or feel.

Why it hurts:
It exhausts your body and brain and can lead to burnout.

Bottling Up Emotions

Telling yourself to “stay strong” or believing you shouldn’t cry.

Why it hurts:
Unexpressed grief becomes heavier over time and can show up as irritability, anxiety, or physical symptoms.

Lashing Out or Holding Resentment

Feeling angry at yourself, others, the universe, or the circumstances.

Why it hurts:
Anger is normal — but staying stuck in blame keeps you from processing grief.

Avoiding Places, Memories, or Photos Forever

A short break is okay — but permanently avoiding reminders can keep your grief from softening.

Coping Skills That Can Help Right Now

  • Breathing exercises: Inhale deeply, exhale slowly, hand on heart.
  • Grounding techniques:
    5 things you see
    4 things you feel
    3 things you hear
    2 things you smell
    1 thing you taste
  • Memory rituals: Write your dog a letter, light a candle, tell a story.
  • Movement: Take a nature walk and imagine your dog walking beside you.
  • Connection: Lean on support circles or reach out to a counselor when everything feels too heavy.

Creating Your Personal Coping Plan

Use these prompts to guide your healing. Write your responses and revisit them whenever grief feels overwhelming.

  1. When I feel overwhelmingly sad, I can:
  • Call/text: ___________________________
  • Journal or write: _____________________
  • Calming activity: _____________________
  1. Who can I reach out to?
  • Family/Friend: _______________________
  • Support group/Community: ____________
  • Counselor or therapist: _______________
  1. What helps me slow my mind when it races?
  • Breathing/meditation: ________________
  • Music: _____________________________
  • Nature walk: ________________________
  • Other grounding tool: ________________
  1. What action steps help me move forward while honoring my grief?
  • Self-care routine: ____________________
  • Creative outlet: ______________________
  • Ritual of remembrance: _______________
  • Positive affirmation: _________________

A Final Reminder

Healthy coping is not about “getting over” your dog —
it’s about learning how to live with their memory while caring for your heart.

Your grief is valid. Your love was real. And your healing will unfold in its own time.

At Gracie’s-Garden, you are seen, supported, and surrounded by others who understand exactly how deep this loss truly is.

 

© 2025 Gracie’s-Garden Daphne Newman All Rights Reserved